Flaccid Rock

I'm all alone on a Saturday, so I thought, 'How much better it would be to blog a little instead of reading the £50 worth of books I paid for my college course today'.

I've blown a fuse this week. It started last Saturday when texts started rolling in from the Lunatic, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I have told him to never contact me again, this has been through text, email and through speaking to him but it's just not getting through. As a Delicate Little Flower (i.e woman) there is no possible way I could know my own mind and therefore, as he wants what he wants and therefore he will have it, he can continue to harass me as much as he like. Not anymore, dickface. After contacting my mobile provider and being told 'Nope, sorry, we can't block certain numbers from calling you', I did the next best thing.

I called the police.

I have had enough. I should not have to live with this. I understand that he has mental problems, but to be honest, I don't give a fuck. When someone tells you repeatedly to leave them alone, you should do it. When someone's partner tells you to leave their girlfriend alone, you should do it. If you've created an elaborate love story in your head, that means you are mental and should be recieving psychiatric treatment, not be in the possession of a mobile phone. I am not a Delicate Little Flower. I do not need your love to save me. He may think that as a man, he is kindly offering me his love and I should be grateful, but that? Is complete BULLSHIT. I know my mind and I know what I want, and what I want is to be able to live my life without double checking all my locks before I go to work, just in case he decides to pop round and tie flowers to my front door. Again.

I first reported it to the police at the beginning of this week, and they have called him to warn him that what he is doing is harassment and illegal, and that should he choose to continue, he will be charged. Obviously this has not made any difference to him and his Quest For Saving The Princess (or whatever it is in Mental Land) so he has text me again. So I have reported him again. Tomorrow is the day when I pick up my new phone, hand my SIM to the police and make a statement so that proceedings will start.

I will admit, I was frightened when I made that phonecall. Is what he doing enough to warrant harassment? In my mind, yes, but to the police, in the law? Am I making a fuss out of nothing? Should I just change my number and try to forget? The answer to that is 'HELL NO!'.

If someone is doing wrong, that should change.

If someone is harassing you, that should stop.

You don't have to put up and shut up. Ladies, make some fucking NOISE!

Labels: Rant, Weirdos

Since I am actually at home for once, having taken the afternoon off of work to have a wisdom tooth removed, now is a pretty good time for me to sit down and pour out everything that has been going on since we last got together and had a chat. Apologies if I repeat myself, as it's been so long I don't know what I've told and what I haven't!

I'm working again now, in a proper job, a permanent piece of the furniture which is exciting and way awesome for me. I loved temping but there are only so many times you can end up out of work before you start shitting yourself about the bills. But I love my new job, I am admin and reception for a place that does pretty cool things, although some of the customers (and one particular member of staff) can be right fuckers. There's only so much abuse one girl can take, although I did get asked out today by a rather racist gentlemen with a facial tattoo and a t-shirt proclaiming 'Can't sleep, clowns will eat me'. What a catch! But we do have some great people in and I'm starting to remember names and faces, and I think I'm doing a good job. Guess we'll have to see when I have my 6th week review tomorrow (in my 7th week. Oooo kay).

I've also met a nice young man, whom I have been courting for several weeks now. We did start out as friends, but that was never going to last! We have been through some ups and downs all ready, nothing major to the outside world but there were some things that upset me but we are cool again now, and very happy. As he lives in Plymouth I have been spending nearly all of my weekends there, so have been going out a lot more and have generally been a lot happier with myself and other things, although my depression has been quite bad today.

I have finally come off the Pill. I have been taking it for two and a half years now, due to my severe acne, but over the past couple of weeks I have spent a lot of time thinking about what it's been doing to my body, and I came to the conclusion that enough is enough. It's time to take the plunge and see what will happen when I stop taking it. If my acne comes back, then fine, I will continue to take it, but if not, I think I will be much happier without it. Of course, that'll make sexy time a lot less spontaneous but fuck it, think of all the benefits for me!

Did I mention I met Rich Hall? Rich Hall the comedian? And that he TOTALLY TOUCHED MY ARM??! *swoons*

Anyway, how are you?

Labels: Catch Up

I haven't posted for so long as I had a trojan which completely shagged my laptop, but after kicking and screaming I finally have it fixed! So much has changed recently, with new jobs and boyfriends, family crap and all the other things that make up life that I'm hoping that if I ever have any free time again I can get it down.

But until that time comes, I will, once again, have to love you and leave you.

Just reminding you I'm still alive!

The boy child Jack seems to be doing better. After looking at the piss poor excuse for medicine, I went the other route and began treating him with syringe feeding water, and plenty of fresh fruit. This has perked him up immensely, and he is now back to normal. The only thing is, he's still not singing but I know when he does, I will be the happiest bird mummy in all of Englandshire. I think the cat scratch the vet found was the problem, maybe he was in shock or something, and I didn't want to treat him with the same weak ass medication they give him for everything.

And Sectioned Guy? The day after I sent the text telling him to take a hike, I got a short message 'ok'. Hurrah, me thinks, he has FINALLY got the message. But no. Not this self centered little shit. Saturday, during X Factor, I recieve more messages. 'Bet you a fiver JLS wins!!' 'I'll stand by you' and other such shite. I didn't reply. Phone calls come and go, I ignore them. Then Wednesday, relaxing on my sofa after a hard day's ass kissing, he arrives at my door with a copy of the Times and a stolen reflector off of a traffic cone. A gift, he calls it. I try to drum it in to him that he is not welcome, but he keeps trying to hug me and kiss me, telling me he loves me. So what's a girl to do with a clinically insane newly turned Catholic? Why, I made him sign over his soul to me. That's right, I have it on paper that he has given me possession of his soul. He's now panicking as to what to do. Oh well, what a pity, never mind.

And of course, the Father. Magically reappearing in my life as his 50th birthday is dawning. I'm not heartless, I had bought him a card and a present and expected to hand it over yesterday, he was going for a meal with the Whore's parents and he would meet me after for a drink, which tied in nicely with my last day of college. For a reason I will divulge shortly, I didn't end up going to college and was sitting in front of the fire with my kittum when my dad called me. The Whore had arranged a surprise party, and I WASN'T INVITED. The cruel, vindictive bitch. I was in tears for most of the night, and binge ate the contents of my fridge in an attempt to cheer up. She's going to get hers, I'll fucking see to that.

But to the good news, at last! I spent most of Wednesday arse licking at an interview for a job I really wanted. The work is something I really want to do, great pay and the chance of an actual gosh darn career instead of the mediocre, mind numbing, soul killing shite I have been doing for most of this year. I was telling them everything they wanted to hear, praising their company and singing my own praise, it was one of those interviews where you walk out feeling GREAT! They called me later that evening, the standard was exceptionally high and they just couldn't choose between me and somebody else. Could I possibly come in for a trial Friday morning? Of course I could, I would be more than happy to, kissy kissy mwah mwah!! I was ecstatic. I have never been part of the excetional standard that all my rejection letters tell me there was in that application period, so I was joyous and relaxed, waiting for Friday. The next morning, my phone rang and woke me. Luckily I am one of those people who can sound bright and airy on the phone first thing, as it was the interview bloke. Could I possibly come in that afternoon instead? After a mild (yet thankfully silent) panic attack I agreed to be there in two hours. A quick shower, and some practising my smile in the mirror, I went to the trial, showed my skills, smarmed everyone in the office and I was home again, too late to go to college.

I got the call this evening. After a few questions about how I felt about the role, the job was offered to me! TO ME! ME ME ME ME ME!!!! Woo hoo!! As my dad was here picking up his card and mum had just got home from work, they were both able to witness the awesome that is my victory dance. It was pretty sweet, let me tell you. I am employed! In a job I might actually like! Yay for me!!

Labels: Dad, Jack, New Things, Weirdos, Work

My darling boy Jack. He is sick again, this time so sick I don't know what to do. Last night when I went to bed, he was lying on the floor of his cage, all puffed up and listless. I pulled his cage close to my heater and watched him closely. I couldn't bear to look at him, and so I grabbed a syringe and began drip feeding water every now and again, snuggling him up in a home made nest in my duvet cover. This began to perk him up, so I continued until 4am when he was a little better.

As soon as I woke, I was making him an appointment at the vet and the verdict? No Idea But He Is A Very Sick Bird Indeed. He has a medication, which if it takes and he begins to eat, drink and poo properly again, he will be fine. If not, it can cost up to one thousand pounds in fees for an expert.

He has been with me for 3 and half years and I don't think I would know what to do without him. Losing my beautiful Angel a few months ago tore me apart, and I miss her everyday. Lose Jack and I don't think I could cope.

My beautiful boy bird.

Labels: Jack

Remember Sectioned Guy I mentioned a few entries down? Well, after ignoring many of his phone calls, which exscalated into double figures by mid afternoon, I got suitably pissed. When I next spoke to him, after shouting over him 'No, no, this is my time to talk. You WILL listen to me' I told him, as kindly as I could, that I'm not doing this. I'm not his girlfriend, never have been, and I will never feel those nice smushy things he has for me. 'Finally!' I thought 'I have got through to him that I'm just Not That Into Him'. Everything seemed cool, he stopped ringing me several times a day Just To Chat, and when he did call, it was a quick conversation. Refusing to speak to him would have made me feel guilty, and feeling guilty is not what I need right now.

But soon the calls began to escalate again. And then during a jokey moment on the phone where I suggested he marry a woman for a Green Card in America, he replied 'Oh, but you know the only woman I want to marry is you'. I withdrew, stopped answering his calls.

I have known him now for almost 3 months. During these 3 months, I have been going to college on the same days each week, each class starting at the same time and finishing at the same time. And every week he has called me, bang on the time the class is starting, then apologising as he had just plain forgot. Again.

Tonight I had had enough. I heard my phone in my bag, and brought it out sheepishly, just knowing it would be his number on the screen. Thankfully, it was a short ring, not embarassing me too much. But then he called again. And again. I snapped, flipping open my phone. 'Hello' I barked, drawing the attention of my classmates. 'I have fucking told you, over and over again, I am in college right now'. 'But I thought it started at 7.30', he whined. 'No, you stupid prick, it starts at 6 and has done every Tuesday and Thursday for the past 3 months. Fuck off' I slam the phone shut, and raise my eyes to the gaze from my classmates. A mixture of shock, anger and sheer joy was equally amongst the people now staring at me. 'I'm sorry' I say meekly, 'it's just he does it every week. I just had enough'. No one says a thing and we began our lesson.

I'm ashamed with myself for doing that in the classroom, but am furious at him for putting me in that position. I have sent him a text message saying 'I don't want you phoning me anymore, you're self centered and obviously couldn't give a shit about my life' and he hasn't text back as of yet. I don't feel guilty anymore, he has brought this on himself.

Labels: Weirdos

There are many things in this world that I find annoying. Waking up early and going to the Jobcentre being one of those things. To get to the Jobcentre, you have to walk down a small path enclosed by buildings, and this was where I was accosted.

"Excuse me, can you tell me what you enjoy about smoking?" says one of the suits approaching me. I take my earbuds out and turn to face them, two youngish guys, around my age, wearing suits and false smiles. Exhaling, the smoke curling out of my mouth I reply "Everything really. Smoking them, rolling them, it's all good" I reply, pausing to glance at the tags around their necks. 'Friends of Jesus Christ' is written proudly on the laminated cards, and I inwardly grin with glee. "But wouldn't you like to get the buzz you get from smoking elsewhere? Is there anything else that gives you that buzz?" asks one of the suits, the other hanging back. "Well, getting drunk is also very fun, oh and sex. Both quite fun" I smile at them. Disgust flickering over their faces, I am asked if I'm currently following any religion. Oooh, goody, a conversion! My favourite game. "Yes", says I, "but not yours. I wouldn't want to join yours anyway, I find it disgusting the way you treat and oppress women". The young men say nothing, but the look is clear on their face. They don't disagree with me though. The young man begins to speak, but I cut him off. "You also used a Pagan holiday as the birth of your saviour, a birthday chosen probably on the same day men sat down and wrote the Bible. It didn't come from God, it came from men. And the Pope! A nazi . . .". The young man interjects here, slightly hurt. "But we're not Catholic" he whines. "To me, you are all the same. You used to burn women like me, for speaking out!" At this point the men begin to leave, scurrying with their tail between their legs. The man who had stood back and said nothing calls over his shoulder "We didn't burn anyone!". "Ahhh, but your people did" I smirk as I walk off.

A good day I believe.

(Side note: I have nothing against religion or religious people. But these men approached me with the intention of pushing their religion onto me, therefore I felt I had no choice but to put my side across)

Labels: Out and About, Weirdos